Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Tears of Happiness #AKwritingChallenge Day 21

I'm an emotional person. Now that's quite a newsflash, isn't it? Yeah. I thought that would surprise you all.

My body seems to have a few default settings. They aren't all great, but they're what make me me. I've tried to change them from time to time, but I'm not sure some of these things are changeable. 

One that is particularly unpleasant is that when under stress, I throw up. I don't mean normal, every day kinds of stress - I mean giving birth to a baby, having surgery, in intense physical pain kind of stress. I may be emotional, but I'm not a wuss.

Another default setting my body seems to have is shedding tears. For me crying is not unusual. Am I a drama queen? Definitely not. Do I burst into tears and sob on a regular basis? Again, no. I haven't really sobbed in a long time, but I am touched deeply by things. About 97% of the time, I'm happy. That's not an exaggeration. Ask the people who know me. I'm annoying as hell, laughing and smiling and being positive all the time. Having said that, though, that other 3% can be pretty powerful - at least for me. When I say I am touched deeply by things, I mean in both happy and sad ways, and it happens a lot. It's one of those unchangeable 'makes me who I am' things.

I'm very familiar with happy tears. I cried with happiness when I found out I was pregnant with  my oldest child. I'd been waiting for those two pink lines to show up for a year, and was absolutely overjoyed when I finally saw them. I cried when I saw my son for the first time during an ultra-sound, and was overcome with tears of joy when I got to hold each of my kids in my arms for the first time. I'm a mom. You had to see that coming.

When I got my hands on my first novel, The Color of Thunder, you can be sure I cried happy tears. I cried when I finished writing both Alabama Skye and A Skye Full of Stars ... those were emotional tears, but happy ones. The stories in those books are meaningful to me ... and I was so happy to have gotten them written down, and in a way I was proud of. 

Back in December of 2013, my kids and I boarded a plane and left Germany. The tears I cried that day were not ones of happiness ... but the ones I shed when I saw my husband at the top of an escalator at Denver International Airport a few weeks later certainly were.

I am always surprised by things - and people - who make me cry happy tears. I'm incredibly grateful for them. I really like that about myself - that I am able to find so much good, so much happiness in some of the most ordinary things. I hope that never changes. The throwing up thing, though ... I'll be honest. It wouldn't upset me at all if that were to change.