I've had a few boyfriends in my life. A couple of them I'd rather not think about - let alone would I have anything to say to them now. It took me a long while to shut and lock those doors, and I'd be an idiot to go looking for the key.
Two of them were very significant as far as relationships go, and, although it seems like all of that was at least a hundred years ago, I think about both of them on a fairly regular basis.
Still, I think I'd only have words for one of these men.
He was my first love. I won't tell you his name. I doubt he'll ever read this post, or anything else I ever write. Like I said, this all took place a long time ago. I haven't spoken to him in such a long time, but if he were to see this, if by some crazy twist of fate he somehow reads the following words, I would be okay with that. No. I'd be better than okay with that. And he'd know it was written about him. That I'm absolutely sure of.
I was lucky to have this man in my life. It was high school. It was crazy. It was awesome. It was emotional. It was all of those things. He was kind. He was sweet. He was one of the good guys. I have a lot of incredibly special memories of him I keep tucked away - and I'm grateful for them. I'm grateful for him, and that I had him in my life.
What are some of the things I'd say to him?
Well, first I'd tell him thank you. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for making me feel special.
I'd tell him I'm sorry things didn't work out for us past our senior year - although I'm relatively certain that he knows as well as I do that we made the right decisions.
I'd tell him that I think of him fondly, that I cherish the memories I have of my time with him.
But probably the most important thing I'd tell him is that I hope he is happy. I hope that his life is all that he hoped it would be, and that he is sharing it with people who realize just how special he is.